Every few years, which in this case means 4-6 years, the need for a new computer compels me to action. A few months ago, my wife approached me in the evening and said, "I want a new computer." I didn't feel it was the best timing, so she modified her request, "Then I need you to stop using our computer so I can use it as my own."

You see, my wife had been working on a lot of projects on the computer, mainly for church, where she is the secretary. As a result, any time I sat down to work on the computer it wouldn't take more than 10 minutes before I was kindly asked to leave so she could get some work done.

In order to accommodate this problem, first I migrated to a laptop...but soon I got desperate enough to fix my old old computer and set it up in a tiny corner of the house near the cat stand. This new arrangement was passable for awhile, but then I blew out the power supply of my ancient machine. I believe it was a fast, painless death.

It was time to buy a new computer.

I did my research. I explored pricing options. I visited stores. Eventually, I decided to purchase my computer online at NewEgg.com. But I didn't buy a finished product. Instead I purchased all the parts I needed and trusted fate that I wouldn't break them putting the computer together myself.

After a few days I received all the parts and set out to piece them together. On the one hand, putting a computer together from scratch is really not all that hard. I've done it before. It just requires patience and some attention to detail. On the other hand, I don't have a lot of patience or attention to detail.

A word of advice; when you're trying to snap the giant fan onto the top of the CPU, cracking sounds can be a sign that you are doing it wrong. At that point, you shouldn't push harder, you should take a deep breath, take a short break, re-assess the situation, and hope for the best. That is what I did and it worked.

Today, I'm the proud owner of a blazingly fast computer which I built myself. It actually works, and it actually has no cracks in it. I've also figured out an ingenious way to keep my wife from ever using it. I installed Linux.